My first prequel! Thanks so much! Here, have a handful of pencils. I love the line “We applaud your dedication as a scientific humanitarian.” Clearly, part of this rejection was a form letter. :D

I love the concept- absurd premise, dry delivery, that whole deal- but I think the delivery’s wanting. Right now, the characterization’s in limbo.

It’s not quite a form letter, but it doesn’t quite feel like it was written by a real person. Either route could work equally well. If you want to go for a little of both, maybe break it into “original” and “form” paragraphs.

On a similar vein, your individual word choices were very good for that dry, academic tone, but I think your phrase structure is a little awkward.

I found myself spending the second half wondering why “a world where ‘good must, and will, prevail’” was so disturbing to the committee. I know what you meant, but I think that quote separated “uneasy” from the stronger vocabularyearlier in the sentence a little too much.

Keep it up

I thought it was brilliant. And it wasn’t the world where good prevails that disturbed the review board… It was the applicant’s delusions of grandeur, his (or her) apparent drive to destroy that which was considered “evil.” And, knowing that the applicant must be completely insane… Well, it made perfect sense to me.

I want you to take these pencils. I’m getting tired of holding them.

Hilarious and spot-on rendition of a rejection letter, right down to the obviously false wish for luck in his future endeavors.