The door closed and there stood Satan horns, hooves, pitch fork and all.

“Jesus!”

“You know I never got that with you humans … why his name.” Sigh

“Are you here for me?”

“Oh please… me…for this…nah. Sorry. Anyway, just a heads up about this room. We’ve got some kind of problem with our usual route and so for the next 2 minutes, all the souls headed to Hell from the Pearly Gates will be coming straight through this room. Don’t worry, you can’t see them, you’ll just hear their screams as their IMMORTAL SOULS ARE DRAGGED DOWN TO THE ETERNAL FIRES OF HELL , HA HA HA HA! I love my job!”

And with a puff of smoke, and little bit of fire, he vanished.

…

…

…

The door opened. The door closed.

His cup hit the counter.

Beep

“3 minutes, 35 seconds.”

“Dude, you are not going to believe what fuck just happened in there.”

“I don’t care what story you give me, you were still 11 seconds slower with your sperm donation than me. Pay up!”