I like my den. It’s where I spend most of my time these days. Not a cave. Den. Caves are dark and spooky. Dens are warm and comforting. I get out sometimes. There’s a nice Chinese buffet down the street I’ll often have lunch at.

Of course, this Den is a little unusual. I’m surrounded by computers. Even nerds would find something odd with these computers. See, they’re my computers. Therefore, they are special.

I really shouldn’t be saying this. My very existence is top secret. The government employed 3 entire classes at my college to keep it hushed up. But since you’re here, I guess it’s ok.

I have an … ability. I’m kinda psychic. Not in the usual way. I’m actually kinda terrible with people. I’m what they call a technopath; I’m psychic with computers. I can make an ATM spit out cash. I can make hotel locks open. I can hack any computer connected to the Internet, directly or indirectly.

So the government spent lots of money on me. I’m set for life, as long as I do what they ask. Not bad, if you ask me.