The best compliment I can give this story is, It sounds real.

I hope that’s a good thing!

wow, ya it does sound so real. yet, its so perfect =)

Thank you =)

The dialogue seems a bit forced… but then again, saying things like this is often a bit forced.

For lack of a better word, a cute story.

hmm, I see what you’re saying

I’m with Sam, a cute story. Mighty help structure-wise to put the dialog of a new person on a new line. It’s a convention, but it helps the reader keep straight who is talking.

It’s a cute story, but I often got confused about who was talking or thinking. I think you should keep the focus on his point of view, so that it’s more surprising when she says she wants him to kiss her.

they weren’t holding hands?!?! after a month?! was it PDA? The moment is sweet though, and it may have been more surprising if the beginning paragraph was from his POV.

I think it’s wonderful.

And Elsha, maybe they lived in the Pride and Prejudice era?

Right, a month without a kiss? She’s just teasing you bro! Could be some young high school kids I suppose.

Thank you, all!
I rewrote it, keeping in mind all your comments.

Wow.
this is the first time I’ve used the word cute on Ficly, but this story is Adoroable.
And extremely realistic.

Aww thanks!