Um… Wow. And from waaaay out in left field comes…

This.

No offence, but your story pretty much does nothing to further the plot or develop the characters in any way. In fact, it’s got nothing to do with anything previously written, save for the name of one of the characters. If anything, it actually distracts the reader from what would be an otherwise wonderful introduction to a potentially epic fantasy storyline.

Please don’t sequel if you can’t contribute something useful.

Dear Eloquent Mess, or as some call him “Lover of Adults,”

I write to you to express me saddest grief I ever felt before. Me, a young lad of forty-seven years, hopin’ to become a professional author, to bring worldwide renoun to me homestead of Hamptonshire, and save me ailing granny, finds himself shot down and cursed by a yank with a self-flattering namie. Blimey. I never thought me family’d ever feel the same steamy cauldron of ‘atred for the yanks since that cursed year 1776, but now we find ourselves with even a larger hole in our gullets. Mr. Eloquent Lover of Adults (LOA, limited liability corporation), I demand satisfaction for yer crimes against me people. Meet me in Hamptonshire, in the meadow, tomorrow at noon and we’ll sort this out. In the words of me pappy, it’s Greenwich Mean Time…

I accept your challenge. Guns or swords?

Or shall it be words?

It shall be blunderbust!