Joined September 2009.

58 stories, 3 challenges, 1231 comments, and 278 friends

“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” ~Stephen King


  1. A Ton of Bumblebroth and Bosh [NaFicWriMo June 02, 2012]

    “Bosh! I repeat. Bosh!” “Cecilia, I am also scared.” He leaned in and cupped the side of her breast. “We cannot delay. This isn’t some childish game we play.” “She is MY sister, and YOUR wife, Harrington....

  2. You Can't Pray on a Lie [NaFicWriMo June 01, 2012]

    Larry was a polygamist. He didn’t have 2 wives because of some religous bent; he was sure there wasn’t a God. He did believe in souls however, because he had found two(!) soulmates; each one lived blocks from the other. He felt like a lucky...

  3. What it feels like for me to write

    always starts as a summer breeze slowly moving through the trees a gentle relief to the beating sun encouraging me to keep moving on on faraway ridge a darkness forms a menacing omen of the coming storm a horde of clouds begin to gray beating, defeati...

  4. Chuckles the Clown (Redux, part 2)

    Chuckles flicks the cigarette on the ground and smothers it with his big red shoe. “So keep pestering me, kid. ‘Cause you wanna know what tomorrow’s headline’s gonna be? Do ya, kid?” The smell of cigarettes and whiskey on Chuckles’ breath m...

  5. Chuckles the Clown (Redux, part 1)

    “Make me a balloon animal.” “I’m on my smoke break, kid. Go get some cake, or something.” Chuckles takes a drag on the cigarette from the side of his mouth, so he doesn’t burn his bulbous red nose. “My mom says smoking’s bad for you, an...

  6. Chuckles the Clown

    “Make me a balloon animal.” “I’m on my smoke break, kid. Get some cake.” Chuckles takes a drag. “Smoking’s bad for you, and my mom’s not paying you to smoke.” “Listen up, I didn’t move to LA...

  7. Last of the Nephilim

    “There’s a saying, ‘The devil is in the details.’ For our next Champion of Comments, it is completely true. He is the last known Nephilim, spawn of the ‘fallen ones’ and the ‘daughters of man.’ He is know...

  8. Aaron Dennis, Director of Sales and Marketing

    “Dinner is getting cold.” Aaron’s wife says, standing in the doorway. “Soon, I promise.” Aaron continues to type while staring at the monitor. “I told Tom Tolkacz I would get the marketing campaign rolling ASAP.̶...

  9. Through the Trees

    “Squat and drop”, Sarge always says. I have it down to a science. All I need is twenty seconds to pinch a loaf, but the Germans wouldn’t even give me that on Christmas Eve. I’m caught with my pants down. Literally. The German made one mista...

  10. You do not travel alone

    you struggle from brith against death’s embrace you toil the earth, fallen from grace you carry a burden you did not begin you’re an outcast of eden, condemed by first sin you prod along within this mortal shell you tow the line, lest you b...

  11. St. Isidore's Redux

    The flaming pamplet hit the cross, and unceremoniously burnt itself out. “Cut!” screamed Quentin. “Where’s the pyrotechnics? Why is the god damn church not burning to the ground?” “There’s a short somewhere, Mr...

  12. Surprise: Epilogue

    Marybeth blots away the moisture from her eyes as she beams at Father Mathias standing in the pulpit. It seems like only yesterday he was sitting in her parents living room, telling them that their baby was about to have a baby. Her father exploded and...

  13. Loss of her Spidey Senses

    With Whomping Thud from Metro Section the Spider Crumbles in her dejection

  14. The Complete Idiot's Guide to HGTTG

    fourty-two. ☺

  15. Senerio Terminated?

    >> : terminate scenario >> >>ENTER PASSWORD: joshua >> >> >> PASSWORD ACCEPTED >> SENERIO TERMINATED >> >> : Hello Joshua. >> >> GREETINGS, PROFESSOR FALKEN >> >> STRANGE GAM...

  16. Why I smiled when I read my ex-girlfriends obituary.

    Schadenfreude.­­ x_x

  17. Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful

    “You know I wouldn’t hurt you, don’t you?” “Y-y-yess, Ms. Dandridge.” Amber’s voice quivers. “You can call me Martha, sweetie.” Martha’s fingers brush back Amber’s hair, revealing the ye...

  18. All Little Girls Like Dolls

    “MOLLY!!” Mary screamed as she marched to Molly’s bedroom. “Mrs. Abernathy called and said she knows you took her great-grandmother’s brooch!” “Amanda took it, not me, momma.” Molly sat on her bed and bru...

  19. Café in The Village

    Normally, the walk from her loft to the café in Greenwich Village was invigorating, but now that she was 6 months pregnant, it was exhausting. She sat down craving a café mocha and cigarette, but she was going to be a good girl. At least until the ba...

  20. Going Home

    “I miss you, you stupid bastard,” she whispered to him, through him. He wanted so much to hold her, comfort her. But he couldn’t; that was against the rules. He just wanted her to know what really happened that night. It was all a ter...

  21. Message to the Management

    Dear Management, We prefer bigger lobbies to loiter in. Our Condolences, Hot Chicks p.s. maybe if you trimmed the verge around your lobby it would look bigger.

  22. The Greatest Ficly Ever Told

    For our sins, He was crucified. †

  23. Krulltar's Release

    “After 8 months,” Krulltar’s voice thunders from atop the parish courthouse steps, “I, Kevin Riley Thomas, an honest businessman and philanthropist, have finally been vindicated from these slanderous charges.” A young woman maneuvers through ...

  24. A Ninja Guards My Cupboard Part 4 [Lipogram Challenge]

    I slink out of my bathroom and stand slightly to Phil’s right. I draw my sword. I wish I had thought to snap a photo of Phil’s look as my katana slid past his ribs, pushing into his lung, but I can’t go back now. “WHY?” Ph...

  25. A Ninja Guards My Cupboard Part 3 [Lipogram Challenge]

    “You still got that ninja outfit you had on at last month’s Christmas party.” “Uh…I think so. Why do you ask, Phil?” I timorously ask, knowing I don’t want to know. “So, can you put it on?” “I...

  26. A Ninja Guards My Cupboard Part 2 [Lipogram Challenge]

    I try not to laugh as I watch Phil stroll in with a t-shirt that says “Original Gangsta”. No doubt about it, Phil’s a dork, but I find him funny. His story about a clown who had an addiction to bananas is amazing, and so is his story ...

  27. A Ninja Guards My Cupboard Part 1 [Lipogram Challenge]

    “A ninja guards my cupboard”, I blurt out. That’s my lubricious way of saying buzz off without hurting a guy. Think about it: what if a goofy looking guy from accounting, asks you out for drinks, and all you said was “A ninja gu...

  28. Krulltar steps up on stage (Mature)

  29. Just Breathe

    Timmy leaned his bike against the neighbor’s oak, and strained to hear the conversation. His mom talking with a uniformed cop on the front porch couldn’t be good. “Timmy, we need to talk to you,” his mom waved him over when she ...

  30. What is ours is no longer theirs.

    “You are a man. A member of our warrior tribe." His father’s words still coursed through his veins. It was 20 years ago that the soldiers brought in their iron machines to bring civilization to his people and break their fighting spirit. T...

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