This is a very well-crafted piece – that first sentence is lurid and exquisite – quite the opener!

The only thing for me is there is a difference between the quality of the description and the dialogue – the description is strong, 5-pencil stuff, but the dialogue lets it down a little – some of it just doesn’t flow as well as it could do: ‘Whatever vileness’? It just seems a bit clunky.

But the possibilites here are good – particularly with regards to the ‘oracle’, a nice original character there…

Welcome to Ficly – not many people seem to indicate nationality in their bio – it’s nice to know there’s another Brit out there, albeit a little older than me!

Congrats! MH :)

P.S: Get a profile pic…

I mostly agree with Mostly Harmless. Fantastic opening line and the end is wonderfully dark. The oracle’s character is suitably nasty.

Welcome to the club dude!

hmm yes the speech is the weakness. When writing conversation, it can seem weird, but speak it out loud and if you can’t imagine yourself saying it in real life – don’t write it.

I love your description and look forward to seeing more of your work.

I think that this was a great piece! As the others said, the opening is fantastic. Personally, I don’t have a problem with the dialogue. If everyone talked exactly the same way, life (and literature) would be pretty boring. The only issue I see is that you need to change “glaze” to “gaze.”

It has an old english feel to it, the dialogue.
You have indeed crafted a great villain!