It was well written, however I don’t really dig the story. It seems as though not too much happened and I was left a little unsatisfied.

I’m with the mechanical man. You tell us that Jones’ death is an important anomaly, but it doesn’t really feel all that important. It doesn’t really evoke an emotional response in me.

That said, it’s nice to see you on here, Adam! Looking forward to seeing more out of you.

May rewrite it soon then to emphasise it a bit more. Expect it over the weekend.