Das Milkshake

Avatar Author: Kevin Lawver This time, it's mostly Jason's fault. He's the one who convinced me that we couldn't just leave well enough alone. He got the designers to donate their time, and wrote all the HTML, CSS and 95% of the javascript. I did... Read Bio

“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.” Hans pointed down the street at the small group of young men heading their way, gesturing with his chocolate shake.

“What?” Dan looked up from his lawn mower and wondered why Hans kept making milkshakes and then coming to his yard without bringing him one.

“Check out my milkshake. Eet’s bringing all those boys to my yard.”

“Hans, those aren’t boys. They’re… they’re… not boys!”

“Vat? They’re little girls saying, ’They’re, like, it’s better than yours’?”

“Put on your glasses, Hans! They’re too slow to be young men attracted by a frozen dairy-based treat. And they’re muttering something. I think they might be out for more than your milkshake, pal.”

“Vat? You think they might be French?”

“Run! I think they’re… ZOMBIES!”

“But zombies don’t like milkshakes. They’re all lactose intolerant! Vhere are you going? Vait, Vait for me! Don’t let them get my milkshake!”

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Comments (12 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Saint Chuck

    I can’t stop laughing, this is absolutely brilliant. Nice work!

  2. Avatar The Note Writer

    I drink your milkshake!

  3. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Most absurd use of the required lines ever. And of course, everything is funnier in a German accent. Bonus points for including zombies, I think.

  4. Avatar blusparrow (LoA)

    hahaha. the vat sounds like schooby doo.

  5. Avatar thebetweenspace

    I didn’t know zombies are lactose intolerant. Also loved the German accent. LOL

  6. Avatar Stovohobo

    Ok. This is funnier than the sequel. And yeah, everything ees funnier with a German accent, no?

  7. Avatar Stovohobo

    Mein Gott! I just realized the authors are different. I wrote that comment in the idea that NinjaChicken wrote both of them. Apologies, Ninja. Don’t ’ssassinate me, k?

  8. Avatar Kevin Lawver

    Still, I’m glad you think mine is funnier. I hope you don’t get assassinated.

  9. Avatar OrangeOreos (LoA)

    Heehee! I’m imagining a roly-poly German kid in lederhosen sipping a milkshake through a spiral straw, running away from zombies right now. And it makes me laugh!

  10. Avatar Pyropunk 51 (PPP LoA)

    had to chuckle about this one. lactose intolerant zaombies chasing a German are funny.

  11. Avatar Stealing Plums

    Too funny and surreal! Love it. Do you think zombie mothers tell their kids, “Now, don’t take any candy or milkshakes from strangers. Just eat their brains and come home!”

  12. Avatar Lynn Magrock

    OMG this is so random and hilarious!!! Germans, milkshakes and zombies, a winning combination!!!

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