I was inspired for this when I walked out of the library, and saw a lady leading two dogs of the description in the story. They looked like nice dogs, but something sparked, and I began imagining how scary something similar could be. Something with irregular, sharp, black needles for teeth. I really wish I knew the name of the breed, because they’ve got a distinct look I’d like to invoke (different from normal ‘scary’ dogs). I’ve got an idea for a sequel, and general story line that I’mona do soon. but still I’d like to see what other people come up with.

I like this, your description of the super-intelligent canine is impeccable.

The final part about the beings ability to escape is frightening; truly terrifying at its worst.

I think that you could made it seem even more vicious if possible.

Thanks! I didn’t really want to make the dog-creature seem ‘vicious’ per say, but calculating and sadistic. In my mind, a short story should be complete within itself, so I hate to say this but: I hope I can paint a more complete picture of it (and the whole situation) in the sequel.

Great story. Loved the ending and the overall feel of the other guy, this sort of resigned caution. Good stuff.
The beginning of that first big paragraph could be one sentence, just rolling the fragment about the dog breed into the first sentence with a comma.

Great stuff! I actually like the way your portrayed the creature. Gave me chills thinking about how vicious it could be and that it’s intelligent enough to know that non-aggression can be more threatening than the actual violence.

This is brilliant!

I’m surprised that no-one’s picked up on what is surely the best bit about it – that last line of dialogue is a dramatic moment that he’s inadvertently set up!

Loved it, particularly as the paragraphing is stronger than your later stories – carry the skill forward…!

The gears in my head are grinding at sequel ideas as I type – masterful stuff – MH :)