so sweet, so loving, and so painful too. I think I need to go hug my kids and hubby now..

Cute and romantic, with that final little tinge of reality at the end. Life’s little moments are fleeting, but they are ours, more than any earthly possession.

Unobtainable desire. Man that’s sad.

You come by these words honestly. There’s a ‘real’ quality to this one. I feel like I just opened one of your notebooks.

I could see this as the beginning to a novel. It’s so deeply personal and ensnaring with much room to expand upon. There’s a story here waiting to be explored.

This is incredibly nostalgic to me somehow, and I think I like it more because of that. It really shows how bittersweet life can be, and how just the smallest displays of love are so precious.

Lovely! But ‘album’ and ‘display it on a shelf’ makes it sound as if you are from my generation (pre-internet ;) ).

I totally get the sentiment though!

Haha, I’m sorry to say I’m not of your generation… just your run of the mill 18 year old girl :)

oh someday, there is nothing run-of-the-mill about you! you are awesome! It’s the old soul that says ‘album’. :)

aww thanks :) :)

It does, however, make me a little bit sad that no one got the musical reference in the title…

I have felt the very same way myself, especially about the “writing a song” part. I often fail at writing romantic lyrics because the words are so hard. (And I got your title’s reference. I think it’s the only song NOT on any of the Guitar Heroes…)

Oops, forgot to add: “Well-written and heart warming.” :)

This seems to have dualing themes…the first theme is enjoyment of the moments as they happen, the second theme seems to be the longing to get back those moments. Is she or isn’t she in the moment. The moment hasn’t started to wane but she is longing to remember it.

Maybe I’m overly critical… I feel that statements like “to see how happy I once was” would come across better if it was stated “to see how happy I am”…now that I think about it maybe it’s that some of the phrases come across as past tense, rather than “in the moment”.

Also, as others said….album, cassette, ect seem to “date” this piece, making it seem more like a memory, than “in the moment”.

Haha, well, I think it could be taken as both. I actually did see it as a romantic piece at first, I think it was the “your breath in my ear” that tipped me that way. Either way, though, it’s still a great piece. :)

well I know the context, and she is writing about memories, as if she were reliving them, to seal them in her mind forever, like a bookmark in time.
Also, that song has been stuck in my head for a week! thanks a lot!

Congratulations on getting featured! Like the other commenters, I found the story melancholy and sweet. I thought this was romantic, but I saw in your comments that it wasn’t meant to be. I think the second paragraph definitely leads the reader in that direction, though.

You make a good effort to get this story past cliches, and I appreciate that as well.

What, you mean Eric Clapton?? Of course I understood the musical reference my gaawd… such a classic heart wrencher.

been with me since I was six years old for christ’s sake!!!