I’m not sure how to critique this as it appears to be free verse – no apparent rhyme or meter.

The main thing I can say is it’s plain. Not bad, just no imagery, and even though I like the ending sentiment (and agree), it doesn’t make me feel or react.

Well with a vague image of an empath lamenting, this was the best I could come up with.. and so I came to ficly.. looking for ways to fix it. >.< I should’ve known better than to assume the ficly community would come to a poor poet’s rescue.

this has a great flow now. its very truthful. see im here to help =)

Honestly I was trying to be helpful, not cranky. It’s just… it’s hard to be specific with poetry.

It is a nice sentiment at the end. I agree with April in that there isn’t a lot of imagery—right now, it reads as less of a poem and more like prose—something which I think could be fixed with some internal rhyme, alliteration, metaphors, etc.

You’ve got the motive; now enhance the sound of the poem.

It was supposed to read as more of a poetic journal entry, and I haven’t found the first appropriate place for imagery.

If you ground it in a specific place (a particular city, suburb, etc.) that might help add more images and characters. :)

this is again hard to critique, and hard to tell you where i would guide the imagerymaybe you should put it down and come back to it in a couple weeks.

this is again hard to critique, and hard to tell you where i would guide the imagerymaybe you should put it down and come back to it in a couple weeks.