Funky Chunky

Joined February 2012 and calls Carl Nielsen's Hub of Stuff home.

24 stories, 3 challenges, 98 comments, and 48 friends

Always feel free to write sequels or prequels to my stories. I love reading where other writers take my ideas.

I was born in 1961 (old codger). I started writing for fun over Christmas 2011. I was recommended Ficly by a friend (thanks, Malc!). Done a few crazy things in my time (and a few sensible ones…like marrying Jan and fathering my three daughters).

Amongst the crazier ones are: appearing in Robot Wars (UK series 3); recording an album; having 5 wisdom teeth removed (yes 5!); meeting the drummer from Split Enz at his home in New Zealand and buying a fuzzbox he designed…


  1. Rebirth (Draft)

    Abortion at 18, 20 years later wants to be a mum. Can’t turn back the clock

  2. Jack Winterbaum

    “You could tell just by looking at him he’d been round the block a few times. Sure he was no spring chicken and the lines in his face had been etched by sun wind and rain. But it was more than that; there was a twinkle in his eye and the hi...

  3. The Point

    “It all started last week. I was hanging out the washing on Tuesday at about 11:23. No, tell a lie, it must have been the Wednesday, because that’s when the dustmen come. Oh no, hang on a minute, they changed that. Something to do with R...

  4. fagashgrey

    …because it’s PARTY TIME! . . . of course not there are no parties in worldafter worldbefore had parties busyhappypeople gathered busyhappypeople drank busyhappypeople talked busyhappypeople thought busyhappypeople planned not now their wai...

  5. Strangers Meet

    At this point I felt I must try and calm things down. “How about we just have the window open a tiny bit? We’ve just had to run to catch this train. In a few minutes we’ll feel much better and we can close it then. Would that be OK?&#...

  6. Ficly Dialogue

    “What time is it?” “I dunno… “…Oh, sorry, um, my watch has gone haywire – I think it needs a new battery. I don’t know why I still wear it; think I’m just used to it.” “What are you so e...

  7. Sonnet 18b

    Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more cloying and more desperate. Fever comes from the rip’ning fields of hay, And summer’s sneeze hath all too long a date. Oft time too hot the eye of heaven shines, And sweat doth po...

  8. Baby it's Cold Inside

    I faced north, from whence the cold wind blows; the tears streaming down my cheeks spreading the dust aside as with unbridled indifference a troop of mercenaries thrusts its way through an unruly crowd, trampling and elbowing as they go. Never again. N...

  9. Rosy View

    How pretty the world looks through these rosy-tints. A sacch’rine-sweet vision – simplistic Chintz Prints. Dare I lift them right off to reveal the unpink? What will I face? What will I think? Surprising, the picture magenta-less grows More...

  10. I'm Sorry?

    I was walking, weaving, ducking, diving my way down Oxford Street on a crowded busy Wednesday afternoon last summer when I was suddenly confronted by this tiny woman with spiky blue hair. I don’t mean it was a ‘blue rinse’ or that it...

  11. England Drifts Off

    Amy had had enough. Life’d thrown her more than her fair share of troubles in the last few weeks. First her dog, Bonzo had died. Cheesy name of course, but she’d known a Bonzo years ago as a child, an old, fat Golden Retriever. About a 150 ...

  12. England, Awake!

    I’d better give Amy the fix or it’ll be too late, Brian, the disfigured one, thought as he withdrew a metallic cube from within the folds of his tunic. Placing it on the now crumbling table, he switched it on. The seemingly unexciting machi...

  13. Charlie Nicholson: in Becker's Clutches

    “Roll up your sleeve.” Becker spoke calmly, coldly; it was clear from his tone that he was accustomed to being obeyed. At this point I saw no reason not to. “No doubt you’ve heard of sodium thiopental, or perhaps Sodium Pentotha...

  14. What is life?

    Life must go on. That’s what they say, isn’t it? But why? Don’t get me wrong, I hope it does, but why must it? I find that I’m reminded of the film ‘As Good as it Gets’ – the gay neighbour says “I’m so damned sorry for myself that it

  15. Fashion 2 - Rewrite of Fashion Victim and First Stab

    She’d never hit me before. I guess the correct response to “does my bum look big in this?” is not to hesitate and simply say “of course not, honey”. So I’d lost already when I said “Erm…”. She’d over reac...

  16. Alone But Not Forgotten

    Slowly the realisation sunk in that this was truly the end of things. THE END OF THINGS. Why do I still remain when everyone has gone; the friends and enemies, the loves and lives? Alone with my thoughts, it slowly dawned that my face was dry and the a...

  17. A Mother, NOT a Fruit!

    “My name is Victoria Plumm; no jokes please. My daughter, Miley has been undergoing some… how can I put it… difficulties of late. Uncle George calls it a ‘temporary loss of cool’ which I think is much kinder than ’ b...

  18. The Retort Usually Occurs to Me Only Hours Later

    The timing of this encounter (which, by the way, appeared to be quite entertaining to the other passengers judging by their smirks and sniggers) was such that, shortly before arriving at our station, the young lady (having made no progress with my moth...

  19. I Just Had a 'Slip of the Brain'

    They had logged out, one by one. Gradually it began to sink in that I had been alone all along. MLG had a way of doing that to you. Let me explain. As the 22nd century approached, the incremental increase in technological advancement had accelerated be...

  20. Where Next?

    The evening slowly meandered on into lateness and misery. Neither man spoke much, there wasn’t much to say; when you’ve run low on spirits both in your glass and in your life, words come even less easily than when confronted with a mind-numbingly d...

  21. Fashion Victim

    She hit me again. On the previous occasion I had only been fumbling to find the finest expression to convey that her excellent posterior appeared neither enlarged nor shrunk by what she had been wearing. Am I the only man who doesn’t quite unders...

  22. England, Dream on!

    …Somebody else had done that before she got there. “How long’s this going to go on for?” , she wondered. Minding her own business, she munched on the cheese and bread – it was stale. No surprise there, then. Then she lay d...

  23. Strangers on a Train... to Watford

    I boarded a train at King’s Langley in 1978. Nothing remarkable in that, you might say other than the fact that I’m old enough to have done so. I, with my sister and mother was, as usual, late and we ran for the train. Out of breath- pantin...

  24. My first stab - am I a writer?

    She’d never hit me before. I guess the correct response to ‘does my bum look big in this?’ is not to hesitate and simply say ‘of course not, honey’. So I’d lost already when I said ‘Erm…’. Anyway, t...

Funky Chunky's Friends (48)

  • Malcolm Ramsay
  • Emily
  • Robert Quick
  • Onion Camp
  • Abby (LoA)
  • rmarkyates
  • musicgirl
  • Krulltar
  • DirtMap
  • The Ghost in the Machine LoA
  • Jessica Cahill
  • Stockholm
  • mark.i.wang
  • August 2nd
  • Jim Donnelly
  • Mostly Harmless
  • August Rode
  • Sir Bic
  • Ruthie
  • memento
  • T-Text
  • Vacant Eye
  • TalonJay
  • Abstract
  • marthamaybe
  • Silven
  • Sanglorian
  • Anna Banner
  • Oy
  • Fox amongst wolves

Funky Chunky's Followers (15)

  • Emily
  • Robert Quick
  • Malcolm Ramsay
  • Abby (LoA)
  • mark.i.wang
  • lotso
  • Vacant Eye
  • Sanglorian
  • Krulltar
  • Dori Joy Reader
  • marthamaybe
  • Ruthie
  • Naphtali
  • airborne
  • miniash