nicely twisted and the last line is amazingly sinister! kudos!

She’s going to eat his tongue, isn’t she? :)

i dunno!

Neat way of trailing each morsal of detail leading us to the climactic cliff hanger. Nicely done. I approve :)

Ahh! You had me thinking it was going one way, and then you took it another direction! Nice job, and thanks for entering! What a sinister secret…

I thought this was going to be a totally clichéd one, but you really threw me at the end. Masterful.

As to Jim, I can see why you write lots of dark fiction. My imagination was perfectly happy leaving it at that before you came along and reawakened it.

I like her!!!

Details dangled like tantalizing flowers before honeybee readers.

Characters with depth and personality. So close to perfect and so very good.

But. . .

“This is too, fairy tale perfect.”

A comma like a tripping stone sticks out where . . . (three dots and three spaces denoting hesitation in dialog) interrupts the flow.

Easy fix if I am, right. Egg on my face if I am not.

Is she the Devil? HM.

Nicely done though. Gotta a little Twilight feel, but it was still a good read.

good point Bob, I am a comma addict!

commanonymistress? New noun or a.k.a, Elsha?

I LOVE this! So was not expecting that, but it felt like the natural ending once we got there! So well done!

Wow that’s kinda…freaky. It reminded me of Shrek for some reason, a scary nightmare Shrek. Good ending, nice and twisted.

Woah, I dont know why I waited so long to read this! Damn, I thought it would go the other way. :D Ace, Elsha!!!

I couldn’t help myself. I just had to sequel this. :-D