StudMuffin (LoA)

Joined June 2009 and calls Facemuffin (Studbook?) home.

172 stories, 15 challenges, 669 comments, and 174 friends

I’m 20. I live in Hastings, UK.
Uhhh I’m going to school for illustration, but sometimes I just, like, love writing.

Back when I was 15, I was a member of this site in it’s earliest days and I stopped using it after a while for reasons unknown. Well I’m back for now!


  1. Mad. (pt 2)

    The policeman hefted his belt over his belly, which was rather obvious, and kicked out his leg to sit down. He, of course had a handlebar mustache. Ray laughed. “Your face sure do got a lot of fuzz.” he said, in a mock western accent. Fuzz,...

  2. Mad. (pt 1)

    The room was white. Perfectly white, with one stain on the wall. On the corner of the wall right by the door. On the other wall, on his left side was a mirror. He knew it wasn’t Really a mirror, but he played along. He pretended not to know that the ...

  3. Rorschach? Bah.

    Man, Abstract, you ain’t got nothin’ on the rhyming prowess of Mc Muffin. While you tread on words precariously, I like to take my rhymes seriously. I’m a beast, from starch and yeast. And much like my name implies, I’m a feast ...

  4. Mc Muffin's Epic Return

    (Mc Muffin Valiantly Snatches one of the drinks from Mc T, finishes it in one drink, picks up the mic) Aight, McT you think you are tough? Let’s see who’s really got the stuff. McT don’t mean nothing to me, as I ride on a sea of these...

  5. Re: Mc Mess

    Yo, Yo, boys and girls Mc Muffin’s goan’ give it a whirl. I might be round and chewy, but I ain’t no girl. Mc Mess makes me wanna hurl. Now, to be legit, Mc Mess, just quit. Your rhymes are stale, and I’m tired of it. You try t...

  6. The Man of Grey (A Limerick)

    I sit and think all day About this man of grey. The man, not a man, but a ghost. As he haunts me, I cry. I ask how he died, And he claims I’m a terrible host.

  7. What If?

    What if all that was bad was good for a day? Blacks, Immigrants, gays, loved for a day? What if war and depression just went away? If all of this happened, what could we say? “Oh, praise the lord”? Whether or not he’s real, let’...

  8. The Starship Commando

    Approaching epic groove said the robotic voice behind the computer’s monitor. Danny was scared, he had never flown a starship this big before. He took special care with his handling. Especially after the accident. People would always ask him what...

  9. We Are Not Here

    We are not here to procrastinate commiserate annihilate. We are not here to cultivate aggravate eradicate. We are not here to tolerate exterminate discriminate. We are not here to assassinate irritate effeminate. to Cooperate moderate hesitate. We are ...

  10. Dear Man In The Fitting Room Next To Mine,

    Sorry if I was bumping into the walls. It was a struggle. .

  11. An Adventure of Adventurous Proportions: Part 1

    It was approximately 27 years, 248 days, 13 hours, 7 minutes, and 49 seconds into Charles Ninniths life that it changed. At this particular moment Charles was purchasing a lawn ornament. He liked to call it Harry. As Charles begrudgingly reached into h...

  12. A Light

    The stress he felt was like diving underwater, only to stay there. Only to die there. He felt like his lungs would collapse. He felt like his head would explode. He felt like he could just stay under there forever. He lived a stressed life. A very sad,...

  13. Dream

    My mom looks at me, tears in her eyes. I see her for the first time in years and my eyes light up with confusion and joy. I wish she looked as happy as I did. The gun she pulled from her purse was 9mm, I recognized it from the crime scene. I want to sh...

  14. A Big Musical Metaphor

    House music is my girlfriend. A lot of people dont understand her, but it’s just cause she’s on another level. I also hang out a lot with her exchange student friend named Techno and her hairdresser friend named Electro. They are all cool g...

  15. The Smell: A Seussical Tale

    It was a calm, quiet night in the town of Wicker Bell, when in the air, there wafted a smell. Not like a flower, no, not your average kind, Much rather, a smell quite a bit harder to find. The witch of Wicker was working away on a new potion, one which...

  16. Tipsy.. er, Dipsy

    “It was a knife what done it” said Baby Face, his voice surprisingly deep, “I saw it with my own two eyes” The Voiceover Guy took notes on his notepad, listening to Baby Faces words. Jesus, that’s bright. He thought, It...

  17. A Climax (Not Sexual)

    Darius was laughing at me. “Silly boy. Give me the box.” his British accent ringing through the lower deck like a bell. I whimpered silently to myself, clutching the small metal contraption to my chest as I raised the pistol. He didn’...

  18. a photographer

    the flashes of the camera hurt my eyes which were already sored with dry tears. the blood trickled down my face. down my bare arms and chest. down the chains that held me to this chair. i squinted, asking for a reason, a reason as to why this had to ha...

  19. The Real Batman in 10 words

    George Clooney in a tight black suit. Big, protruding, nipples.

  20. Animal Abuse

    The bunny tripped through the door of the house, landing on the floor with a loud thud. His wife was waiting for him in the living room, her arms crossed. “Honey, where have you been?!” she asked, obviously frustrated. The rabbit jumped in ...

  21. False Accusations

    My lawyer looked nervous, which made me shake with anxiety. It was a wrong place, wrong time kind of thing. “I found the guy in the middle of the street, he was already dead.” I swore upon my life. I was a horrible liar, I told him. I ain&#...

  22. Happy

    The walls of the office were painted pink and white. He never liked pink. But, Charles was happy. Charles was going to live his life to the fullest. He didn’t need to be here, no. He just wanted to check in with her. They hadn’t had a meeti...

  23. OH MY GOD....

    “Oh my god,” she shreiked, “What is THAT?!?!” -——————————————————————————...

  24. Running (The Challenge That Cocinella Done Made)

    I ran down the boulevard, the ones chasing me casting unrealistically huge shadows in front of me, my only hope being that I didn’t trip.

  25. Miraj's Stick (A journey in writing like Spageti)

    The double doors swung open, Miraj standing in the light. “Gi-me a dr-eye marrteeny, barrtenor.” Miraj turned and spat on the floor. “And, uh… what’ll be yur method a payment?” Miraj quickly glanced to his left and t...

  26. Office Space in 28 Words

    Yeaahh….If you could go ahead and move your desk into maintenance? Yeah…. that’d be great… And I’m gonna go ahead and take this stapler off your hands….. Mmmkay then.

  27. Forgetting Sarah Marshall in 10 words

    PENIS Then your average Romantic Comedy. PRODUCED BY JUDD APATOW!! JUUUUUDDD APATOW!!!!!!

  28. Muffy is Pissed Off. (Mature)

  29. How I Got an In-School Suspension.....

    It was one of those days. You know, those days. I’m sure if it were Monday, I’d be having a case of ‘em. The train literally took twice as long as usual, so I got to school late. If you get to my school late, you have to serve a half ...

  30. Alternate Shrek in 10 Words

    (stereotypical black man’s voice) “Shrek!” (Stereotypical scottish accent) “Donkey!” “Shrek!” “Donkey!” “Shrek!” “Donkey!” “Shrek!” “Donkey!” “S...

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