Man, is there such a thing as Young-Adult Horror? Because, I think that was it right there.

the voices in my head agree with you

Yikes! If this horridcthin was implimented, I would most definitely be screwed. The cold, impersonal tone was astounding;the only suggestion I have is to perhaps break this up into paagraphs.
But all around, in my mind, this piece just worked.
Thanks for entering!

Thanks, you guys. I’ve added a paragraph break where it looked like it belonged.

You chose your paragraph location well, I’d say.

Also, I couldn’t resist sequelling; I had to add in an example of a nonconformist in this situation, and how she (in this case) is dealt with.

I haven’t read ‘Harrison Bergeron’ in years. This made me want to go back and read it again. Well done.

Wow… I can’t wait to read more of this!

I swear I have been in one of these contraptions :) very good

that is terrifying

Haha… oh, my. Your description is unparalleled in it’s horror. Nice job.

This was fantastic! Very frightening concept. Congratulations on being featured!

Bizarre and twisted, just how I like stuff. Nicely mocks some of the more desperate measures adults stoop to in efforts to induce conformity.

It’s got a Clockwork Orange feel to it that pleases me :) Awesome job

GWAH! That might be the most horrifying thing I’ve seen all day!

I had to read this twice to get what it was talking about. At first, I thought it was some sort of metaphor, but then I realized you were being totally literal, and it freaked me out. Stories that show any sort of extreme conformism tend to do that to me…

scary, but really good :D
interesting idea.

In the Penal Colony, anyone?

Very entertaining & full of sequling-potential-goodness.

Creepy. And it inspired me to post a sequel. Keep going, I’m curious where it is headed.

Nice.

The literalism worked astoundingly well, and I found a little humor in there (maybe I wasn’t supposed to, but it struck me as funny) in a sort of cynical tone. Awesomely awesome.

I am surprised, impressed, and enthused with how popular this Fic has gotten. I sequelled a sequel of it, and can’t wait to see more of the same!

@Melia I was thinking it had a very ‘1982’ feel to it.

one word…YIKES!

This is the first thing I read on Ficly and it really hit me! So much so I had to write a sequel. Great idea!

It’s hard to sleep in the mud with a bunch of insects biting you as well. I’d rather sneeze than have arbitrary, sadistic cromagnon’s rape me.

I love the cold tone of this. It makes the whole thing all the more frightening.

This reminds me of an experiment I read about in a science magazine.
I really hope the experiment doesn’t morph into this.

This was exceptionally well-written, and your writing style was very unique. Fantastic job!