THX 0477

Joined May 2009.

552 stories, 6 challenges, 5998 comments, and 28 friends

Dr. Tim’s Neurotic Rules of Ficly Life

[Disclaimer: This is not intended to be binding nor in any way an expectation of general members of Ficly, league members, family members or wearers of Member’s Only jackets]

1. Comment to Story posting ratio must exceed 5:1. Goal is 10:1. In other words, I write a story then find five others (at least) upon which to comment before writing another.

2. For every solo shot or sequel of my own material, I must write a sequel or prequel to the work of another author. If I’m going easy on myself, participating in a challenge also fulfills this requirement.

3. If someone comments on one of my stories, I go find one of theirs upon which to comment. It only seems fair, and I like to think it encourages commenting.

4. Awesomeness is the goal, always. Call me on it when I fail, please.

5. Clearly mark mature content and err on the side of caution.

6. Golden Rule remains in effect for all sequels, prequels, and comments.


  1. To The Misty Mountain

    “Mother, I must go to the mountain.” Mrs. Silvstedt sighed, “It’s a hill, not a mountain.” Not in the least deterred the boy continued, “If I do not return, fret not mother for the old gods have taken me to their bos...

  2. To Fly Or Maybe Not

    “I think…I can just about…fly.” “Tommy, if you jump off that swing again you’re dad’s going to tear the whole set down.” With a huff, Tommy ceased his leg pumpin and slumped in the plastic seat. He felt l...

  3. Noir: I Understand You Understand That Nobody Understands

    I’m not sure what a protees or a fanz are. Maybe they’re in the guy. In any case, she seems to think one or both of them are ruptured. I guess I hit her harder than I thought. I look at her long and hard, trying to figure this crazy dame ou...

  4. Falling Apart Versus Fell

    Jenkins broke another clipboard yesterday. Someone threw a mouse and took out an ‘Exit’ sign. I think I heard Mallowitz crying in her cubicle on Friday. They fired Molly last Tuesday; nobody knows why. The Thursday on my desk calendar is mo...

  5. Noir: Insight Into Bad Ideas

    Never hit a lady, my grandmother’s voice keeps echoing in my head. The dame can’t seem to decide if she’s going to sneer at me or give me a come hither look. She’s waving the derringer like a parade flag. I sip, gag, cough, and ...

  6. Aspirations Among the Low Places

    The toad found a hole, a combination of sunken earth and the gaping maw of a half buried log. All in all, the place was lowly indeed but a step up from squatting in a field—a step in the right direction. From within the hole, the toad ate. He gre...

  7. Noir: Close Quarter Interrogation

    “Honest to God, ma’am, I know a lot less than you think.” I know I have a bigger gun, if only I weren’t such a slow draw. She gives me the stink eye and utters something loud, angry, and incomprehensible. I give it even odds tha...

  8. Noir: My Affliction of Good Ideas

    Throughout my life I’ve had an affliction of good ideas. Ladies, even more than wait staff, like to gab. You could learn a lot in a house of ill-repute, honestly. Well, yes, lots of stuff. I learned about an uppity shrew of a chanteuse singing at...

  9. Not Getting Off on the Right Foot

    I rubbed my head, partly to show my displeasure and partly to check for a goose egg. It was there, but I’d had worse. Ducking with me behind the cafe’s counter Beth could only snicker and point. After she mumble whispered I had to ask, R...

  10. Noir: Peacemaker Redux

    I spent the night in a spare room, well, spare in the sense that one of the ladies was ill that evening thus it was going unused. The walls were thin, and I sat on the floor rather than risk the bed. My mind wandered through the evening, mostly on what...

  11. Any Port for the Coming Storm

    The dark, drafty old house was lopsided and decrepit, leaning in on itself, the way an aging possum carrying a very heavy, overcooked drumstick in his mouth might list to one side if he were also favoring a torn Achilles tendon, assuming possums have t...

  12. The Dollies Are Cross

    A string of coarse language eminated from the nursery with such force as would have made any sailor cross himself and possibly utter a small prayer. Being more accustomed to it the maid staff rolled their eyes and waited for the nursemaid to attend to ...

  13. Noir: The Home of the Ladies Luck

    At first I was making sure my tail didn’t get lost. As I began to try very hard to lose him, things got a bit dicey. This guy was good, or just very motivated. Both presented certain dangers should he catch me. Every alley I ducked into led to a ...

  14. Revival Comes to Granville First Credit Union

    A rotund figure burst through the doors of the bank tugging an unseasonable ski mask into place, “Alright you dirty heathens, I come to liberate you from this sinful vice of filthy luger! Pray to the Lord, get on the floor, and prostate yourselve...

  15. For the Love of Ares

    Upon sun kissed hillside I stride, upon this crimson stained beach of the sky’s great ocean. Lo, my sullied feet are the means of such pitiable conveyance as even the pauper of the utmost deficiency might still look upon me with winsome eyes, gli...

  16. Angry, Angry Arguers

    “My l-love is a lie. All in all, my life is l-l-lacking in what you might like to call l-lust, or perhaps l-la liberté de la sexe. L-l-laugh if you lean towards the l-lighter side. My leaving is entirely m-my loss, which I shall l-lament the re-...

  17. Ride Into the Dark

    Without a word I saddled Jasmine, our older mare. She’d gone a bit swayback by this point but still strode with confidence, especially in the mornings. I knew where my spirit was at; I’d need an old soul to temper the fire kindled by the mo...

  18. If It Doesn't, Nothing Will

    “When you gonna’ give this up, boy?” The question felt challenging, but the tone was as genial as ever. “Dunno, pop,” Casey grunted from beneath the hood. His father ran a hand along the graceful slope of the car’s h...

  19. A Day In the Private Life

    “About…face!” Barked orders fill the heavy air. Cut-downs and slurs follow soon after. Down in the muck we struggle dutifully. Every man-jack of us wants to quit. Few will. G.I.s don’t quit, not real ones anyway. Hell arrives in...

  20. Fragmented Return

    World’s a blur. Am I really here? Is this another dream? Clearly, a boy jumps, unadulterated glee, “Daddy, daddy, daddy!” Dear god, I’m home.

  21. Noir: My Life as a Goose

    Frankly, I was lucky the waiter’s jacket fit, and over my holster even. Against all odds, fate favored me to intercept a delivery. Thus, I had politely delivered a phone to the VIP table and gotten quite an earful. Karma, fickle lady that she is,...

  22. I am; I Might

    I am…not. That is all. It’s all I can think or feel at this point, if I am to be frank. The world swirls this way and that, to and fro. I sit still. I watch. They play, laugh, and seem with so few cares to love each day. I fret when not num...

  23. On the Day

    The day is a runaway train, Fleeing, I suppose, night’s dreaming. Ride on, charge on, don’t restrain! Thoughts are tumbling, streaming, Nagging and pursuing at the rails. Reality waits with perils teeming. Chance success; endure the fails.

  24. Said The Darkness to the Candle

    Said the darkness to the candle, “Why fightest thou the night?” Said the candle to the shadow, “Why begrudgest thou my light? ’Tis only in the contrast that thine shape and form is known.” “Oh, thine folly is what of...

  25. Other Place

    I shall be going away The trips is short but erelong I shan’t know knight from day I travel from right to wrong Out of this mundane world Intend I to fall headlong Noone sees realities swirled Both light and dark my sight plague So to there my sa...

  26. Noir: Weak Excuses Across the Board

    As Nick strode away I prostested loudly to his back, “Look buddy, I wasn’t eyeballing your date!” The scene unfolded before my eyes as I conferred with mock indignation with the guests around me. Things were going from bad to worse as...

  27. Noir: To The Gambling Table, If You Please

    I need to find a new line of work. The thought kept playing as I watched Nick. Either my job was lowly enough to include watching his back for a bit of dancing or being a PI was so dangerous that even a simple dance could be lethal. Either way, there h...

  28. Noir: Meager Hopes

    By no means did I ever consider myself an expert at the more practical aspects of Mr. Beretta’s work. I could take phone calls and buy whiskey with the best of them, but otherwise I knew my place. All the same, it didn’t take his fussing an...

  29. Annie Waites

    Annie Waites has died A letter sent, unanswered Monarch’s flight cut short I knew not the hour Unaware of the calendar day Moment of mourning lost Yet remains life’s admonition Reiterated in night’s visitation Our life’s music O...

  30. Noir: Turning of Luck on Perception

    Look the part, he says. What part?! Maybe he meant I shouldn’t be drinking coffee with my pinky extended. It wasn’t tea, after all. Thankfully, my half-drunken hero of the down trodden clarified with a gesture towards another patron. Though...

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